Can you still enjoy sex with a partner after using all those toys?

The short answer: yes! I enjoy sex with a partner more the more I use sex toys.

The long answer is that exploring my body with sex toys has:

• Trained my brain and body to respond with pleasure to a wide range of stimuli
• Made me more aware of what works for me, in terms of stepping on my “arousal accelerator” and reaching orgasm, and having more orgasms
• Given something to clench around, further strengthening my pelvic floor via regular exercise.
• Given me the option to show my partner what works for me
• Allowed me to enjoy penetration even when my partner was too tired to stay hard
• Added novelty, sugar, spice, and plenty of things nice — using toys together is quite fun!
• Strengthened my boundaries — if I know what I can do for myself, and what’s possible, I feel comfortable saying “no” to the wrong people for me. Then, I’m free to find the right people for me.

In short, sex toys — even huge dildos and whirlwind wand massagers — made me more sensitive and responsive to partner play, with or without a toy. And the repeated, intense orgasms I’ve experienced yield repeated, intense contractions. I’m able to squeeze tightly for long periods of time, which feels fantastic to both my partner and me.

It’s not just what you do, but how you do it:

• I’m present in my body, paying attention to every little sensation.
• I take my time to focus my mind on pleasurable thoughts; the magic begins from within. If I’m stressed, I slow down to stretch, breathe, and maybe fantasize first — I don’t expect a toy to do all the work for me.
• I mix up the sensations so that my brain is accustomed to orgasms from many routes. I find that, when people get into a rut, it may be because they reach for the same toy on the same setting over and over again. Sometimes, ol’ reliable isn’t what I need; I check in with myself about whether a wand is what I’m actually craving, or if it’s just convenient. Sometimes, less really is more.

Also, while I personally don’t need a vibrator to orgasm, there are many different ways pleasure can look.

For one, not everyone is built like me. And also, preferences change. It’s okay to:

• Go through phases of discovering intense turn-ons
• Discover that maybe what used to work for you doesn’t anymore
• Use toys with a partner to cum
• Enjoy sex but without orgasm
• If you enjoy self-pleasure but just don’t care for partner play

A big part of having a great sex life is getting curious about what works for you — and rediscovering that over and over again.

Further reading:

• How do you make yourself cum so easily?
• 4 mental hang-ups about vibrators I’ve gotten over
• Why “vibrator addiction” is bullshit

Super Smash Cache

PLEASURE PRINCESS. COMPACT, HIGH-CAPACITY HUMAN. CERVIX SORCERESS.

I’ve tested over 400 sex toys and love diving deep for cervical orgasms, A-spot stimulation, and kinky odysseys into the subconscious.

Mesmerizing mindfucking or physical fisting? Opening books or legs? Why not all of the above?

Can’t get enough?

Read more about me, my FAQs, and my pleasure protocol/philosophy
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