My vagina is size royalty, but my butt is a plug plebeian. Even if I hadn’t mentioned that before in a review, you might have noticed my relative lack of posts about anal play. It’s not because I haven’t...
“What a fucking abomination!” I scrunched my nose the first time I saw a clit-sucking rabbit vibrator. First came the Womanizer Inside Out, then the Satisfyer Pro G Rabbit, then the rumblier Womanizer Duo. I declined to review all...
There’s no shortage of phallic fruits and vegetables. Perhaps the most obvious example is Millennials’ ubiquitous recognition of the euphemistic eggplant emoji. Unfortunately, the grocery store isn’t the best place to buy hygienic insertables. Produce is porous and houses...
No other sex toy has sent me on as much of an emotional roller-coaster as the Fantasy For Her Ultimate Pleasure. I have gone through every stage of Kombucha Girl. My initial thought was, “Ew, a product by Pipedream.”...
Sometimes love is blind, as the homely Zumio, Eroscillator, and Magic Wand Plus have demonstrated. The NU Sensuelle Trinitii is another such example: a clit-licking vibrator with the aesthetic of a pore cleaner or ear thermometer. It doesn’t look bad with its electric blue (or purple) silicone and rose...
The first five lines in my notes about the Fun Factory Volta read: I HAVE DIED Looks like it belongs in the Little Mermaid’s “Les Poissons” chef scene I don’t get it External-only rechargeable toy that makes me squirt...
Sex Toys That Target the Anterior and Posterior Fornices Discovering cervical orgasms changed my sex life. For myself, the orgasms from deep penetration feel like potent hits of oxytocin — heart-eyes emojis and implosions far more full-bodied than clitoral...
The first time I used the Cal Exotics Surf City Centerfold internally, I laughed at how quickly I came. I was not expecting that! And against my clitoris? Testing toys like this one makes my endless hours of writing...
The SquarePegToys Blunt Plug is the ideal silicone plug for warming up to anal sex. Some plugs taper and slowly ramp up for opening from a cold start. Others have a big bulb and barely-there neck for a feeling...
About a year and a half ago, I learned the hard way what I didn’t want in a vaginal plug. I just wanted to be stuffed all day, not understanding the pitfalls of using the fat AF Tantus Ringo...
“WHY ARE THESE VIBRATORS SO PHOTOGENIC?” I asked myself as I edited photos for this review. I can’t pick a favorite picture because they’re all my favorite. Now I know how my favorite photographer feels when I model for...
I’ve accepted it at this point: I cannot and will not ever do justice to the Blush Realm sword dildo collection. I’m not a fantasy geek at all, despite wanting to double penetrate myself with both Night King dildos....