by Super Smash Cache · Published August 1, 2020 · Last modified August 12, 2023
The uninitiated may raise an eyebrow at the ostensibly "Xtra-Small" Hankey's Toys Dragon dildo. It's above average compared to a human penis, but keep in mind: the brand is [in]famous for HUGE dildos and fisting lovers' porn. For further…
by Super Smash Cache · Published July 30, 2020 · Last modified March 29, 2024
This versatile dildo can hit the G‑spot, A‑spot, deep spot, *AND* perineal sponge! It's easy to take for granted all the penetration sensations available to me. I needed a range of tools to explore and find my internal erogenous…
by Super Smash Cache · Published July 23, 2020 · Last modified March 11, 2024
"It looks like Squidward, with an erection, beckoning you to fight him," said a friend upon his first impression of this toy. Later on, he compared it to a bunched-up rendition of Squidward's "masterpiece" self-portrait. It's not quite a…
by Super Smash Cache · Published July 21, 2020 · Last modified September 19, 2023
Buzzy is skin-deep. Rumbly is to the bone (sometimes). "Rumbly" and "buzzy" are two descriptors that sex bloggers use to describe vibration quality. The former is deep and often low-pitched, while the latter is surface-level or irritatingly high-pitched. What…
by Super Smash Cache · Published July 15, 2020 · Last modified September 19, 2023
If you're overwhelmed by the air pulse/clitoral suction toy options on the market, I don't blame you! Womanizer is the pioneer and most well-known, but many other companies have hopped on the bandwagon. The options are endless! Today, we're…
by Super Smash Cache · Published July 13, 2020 · Last modified August 10, 2023
Behold the Zumio E — one of the best Zumio models! I ADORED the Zumio X Classic when I first tried it. At the time, its concentration of power was unprecedented; RUMBLY pinpoint oscillations are rare in Toyland. And…
by Super Smash Cache · Published July 8, 2020 · Last modified July 5, 2023
The Le Wand Arch gives me yet another reason to love stainless steel dildos! Many metal sex toys I've tried are god-tier (or at least close to it) by fierce pressure and effortless momentum. These heirloom-quality beasts bully the…
by Super Smash Cache · Published July 3, 2020 · Last modified March 12, 2024
I need to purge my editorial calendar of this shit, okay? The LELO Sona 2 and Sona 2 Cruise have been sitting the review queue for months. It's not even that I don't enjoy them, but I must warn…
by Super Smash Cache · Published July 1, 2020 · Last modified November 5, 2023
If you've ever felt like wands had too much drab and not enough fab, you'll want to read today's review. The ROMP Flip and Blush Nöje W4 are both compact and rechargeable mini-wand massagers with vibrant color schemes —…
by Super Smash Cache · Published June 29, 2020 · Last modified December 6, 2023
Hot Octopuss knows their rumbly motors from powerful bullets to oscillating guybrators penis masturbators. Perhaps their fanciest creation is the Pulse Duo Lux, a couples' vibrator that claims to do it all. I'm in the "any toy can be a…
by Super Smash Cache · Published June 26, 2020 · Last modified August 10, 2023
You don't fuck with perfection. Why did Le Wand try to do that again? My single favorite dildo is the njoy Eleven. Beyond its sexy exterior and lethal construction, there's a reason it's in my avatar. Simply, the njoy…
by Super Smash Cache · Published June 17, 2020 · Last modified March 11, 2024
Despite its average-sounding name, Mr. Hankey's Topher Michels medium dildo is anything but that. Don't be fooled: with a 2.68" diameter near the shaft, this dildo looks gargantuan next to my other "realistic" toys. I put "realistic" in quotation marks because…