Terms and policies

Privacy Policy

Last updat­ed: December 11, 2025

Super Smash Cache is secured by a Let’s Encrypt SSL cer­tifi­cate through DreamHost, which estab­lish­es a secure con­nec­tion and encrypts your activ­i­ty at super​s​mash​cache​.com. It uses WordPress, with a Web Application Firewall (WAF) and plu­g­ins that are reg­u­lar­ly updated.

One such plu­g­in is Relevanssi, which logs basic data such as search queries and clicks.

Google Analytics and Google Search Console also mon­i­tor data such as traf­fic, refer­ring URLs, time spent on pages, brows­er and device char­ac­ter­is­tics, and oth­er tech­ni­cal infor­ma­tion for ana­lyt­ics and report­ing pur­pos­es. As well, my WAF may han­dle IP address­es for the pur­pose of block­ing cer­tain visitors.

As far as com­ments, email sub­scrip­tions, and con­tact forms go, I only col­lect the data that is will­ing­ly giv­en by the per­son sub­mit­ting it. That may be for the pur­pose of updat­ing you about new posts or send­ing you newslet­ters and mar­ket­ing emails.

Users may unsub­scribe at any time by click­ing the link in the email foot­er. However, I may still con­tact you (for non-​marketing pur­pos­es) to respond to ser­vice requests if you send a service-​related message.

If I host a give­away, I some­times use Gleam’s wid­get. See Gleam’s pri­va­cy pol­i­cy here. I’ll only use your con­tact infor­ma­tion to get the prize to you.

The per­son­al infor­ma­tion I col­lect depends on the con­text of your inter­ac­tions with me and my ser­vices, the choic­es you make, and the prod­ucts and fea­tures you use.

The per­son­al infor­ma­tion col­lect­ed may include the fol­low­ing — if freely giv­en — for the pur­pose of pro­vid­ing you with con­tent and services:

• Names
• Email address­es
• Billing address­es
• Usernames
• Passwords
• Contact pref­er­ences

It’s processed when nec­es­sary to ful­fill my con­trac­tu­al oblig­a­tion to you.

I may col­lect data nec­es­sary to process your pay­ment if you make pur­chas­es, such as your pay­ment instru­ment num­ber and secu­ri­ty code. All pay­ment data is stored by PayPal and Authorize​.net. You may find their pri­va­cy notice links here: https://​www​.pay​pal​.com/​u​s​/​l​e​g​a​l​h​u​b​/​p​r​i​v​a​c​y​-​f​ull and https://​usa​.visa​.com/​l​e​g​a​l​/​g​l​o​b​a​l​-​p​r​i​v​a​c​y​-​n​o​t​i​c​e​.​h​tml

Cookie policy

Last updat­ed: December 11, 2025

What are cookies?

Cookies are small data files that are placed on your com­put­er or mobile device when you vis­it a website.

Why? So that the Site is able to recall pre­vi­ous­ly used set­tings, pref­er­ences, and if applic­a­ble, mem­ber login so you can access pre­mi­um con­tent. You can set your brows­er pref­er­ences to not accept Cookies or can man­u­al­ly remove them on your com­put­er or device. However, in a few cas­es, some of the Site fea­tures may not func­tion as a result.

In short, cook­ies are wide­ly used by web­site own­ers in order to make their web­sites work (or to work more effi­cient­ly) as well as to pro­vide report­ing information.

Cookies set by the web­site own­er (in this case, Super Smash Media LLC) are called "first-​party cook­ies." Cookies set by par­ties oth­er than the web­site own­er are called "third-​party cook­ies." Third-​party cook­ies enable third-​party fea­tures or func­tion­al­i­ty to be pro­vid­ed on or through the web­site (e.g., adver­tis­ing, inter­ac­tive con­tent, and ana­lyt­ics). The par­ties that set these third-​party cook­ies can rec­og­nize your com­put­er both when it vis­its the web­site in ques­tion and when it vis­its cer­tain oth­er websites.

Disclaimers

This Site is not intend­ed or direct­ed to any­one under the age of 18. We do not sell any­thing direct­ly to any­one who we know to be under the age of 18, nor do we col­lect any per­son­al infor­ma­tion from any­one who we know to be under the age of 18. For this rea­son, our Site requires that you acknowl­edge and con­firm that you are 18 years or old­er before enter­ing the Site.

By access­ing, or using in any man­ner, the Site, you rep­re­sent and war­rant that:

• You are 18 years old or older.
• The ser­vices you access, the infor­ma­tion you view, and the prod­ucts you order are not in any way unlaw­ful in your state, province, coun­try, munic­i­pal­i­ty, or oth­er jurisdiction.
• You con­sent to view sex­u­al­ly explic­it material.
• By con­sent­ing to view sex­u­al­ly explic­it mate­r­i­al, you waive any future right to take legal action against Super Smash Cache, or its affil­i­ates, aris­ing out of or relat­ed to your access­ing of this mate­r­i­al mate­r­i­al with­in the Site, includ­ing any forums with­in the Site.
• You agree not to dis­trib­ute the infor­ma­tion you receive from the Site to those under the age of 18 years old or those who would be vio­lat­ing the law by access­ing such mate­r­i­al in their jurisdiction.

Website & Professional Disclaimer

All infor­ma­tion on the Site is pro­vid­ed in good faith. As always, though, prac­tice your own discernment.

The Site can­not and does not con­tain medical/​health advice. The medical/​health infor­ma­tion is pro­vid­ed for gen­er­al infor­ma­tion­al and edu­ca­tion­al pur­pos­es only and is not a sub­sti­tute for pro­fes­sion­al advice. Accordingly, before tak­ing any actions based on such infor­ma­tion, please con­sult with the appro­pri­ate pro­fes­sion­als. I do not pro­vide any kind of medical/​health advice.

Use the infor­ma­tion at your own risk. Under no cir­cum­stance shall I have any lia­bil­i­ty to you for any loss or dam­age incurred as a result.

External Link & Affiliates Disclaimer

The Site con­tains links to affil­i­ate web­sites, and I receive an affil­i­ate com­mis­sion for any pur­chas­es made by you on the affil­i­ate web­site using such links. That doesn’t affect my in-​depth reviews — if I love the prod­uct, I love it. If I hate it, I’ll either tell you or not have any fucks to give about shar­ing the product.

Affiliate plat­forms include ShareASale, Awin (Affiliate Window), Refersion, and PepperJam. They use cook­ies to track con­ver­sions (I don’t look at what you buy, FYI) and commissions.

See my “Buy Sex Toys” page for a list of shops I work with.

I’m not respon­si­ble for mon­i­tor­ing any trans­ac­tions between you and the third-​party providers of prod­ucts or ser­vices. See the linked web­sites’ pri­va­cy poli­cies to learn more about how they work.

While I do vet and flame-​test prod­ucts I review to check that they’re body-​safe, I don’t mon­i­tor every sin­gle item that each third-​party shop sells — some of them sell body-​safe prod­ucts and not-​so-​safe ones. Read my mate­r­i­al safe­ty guide to learn more.

Testimonials Disclaimer

The Site may con­tain tes­ti­mo­ni­als by users of my prod­ucts and/​or ser­vices. These tes­ti­mo­ni­als reflect the real-​life expe­ri­ences and opin­ions of such users. However, the expe­ri­ences are per­son­al to those par­tic­u­lar users, and may not nec­es­sar­i­ly be rep­re­sen­ta­tive of all users of the prod­ucts and/​or ser­vices. I do not claim, and you should not assume, that all users will have the same expe­ri­ences. YOUR INDIVIDUAL RESULTS MAY VARY.

Some tes­ti­mo­ni­als may have been cor­rect­ed for gram­mar or short­ened for the sake of brevi­ty where the full tes­ti­mo­ni­al con­tained extra­ne­ous infor­ma­tion not rel­e­vant to the gen­er­al public.

The views and opin­ions con­tained in the tes­ti­mo­ni­als belong sole­ly to the indi­vid­ual user and do not direct­ly reflect my views and opinions.

The tes­ti­mo­ni­als on the Site are not intend­ed, nor should they be con­strued, as claims that the prod­ucts and/​or ser­vices can be used to diag­nose, treat, mit­i­gate, cure, pre­vent, or oth­er­wise be used for any dis­ease or med­ical con­di­tion. No tes­ti­mo­ni­als have been clin­i­cal­ly proven or evaluated.